you had me at
"hello"
such a corny line
i refuse
there's no excuse
to say such a thing to me
though insignificant
through coincidence
i would find
it happened in real life
i must impend
there is no end
to my curiousity
of why you would use such a line on me
could it be that
you're true and blue
and you mean the corny things you say
could it be that
i feel it too
though i'm scared to trust if i'll be ok
i don't know what's in store
or what this world will hold
but truth be told
i see our futures unfold
the moment you said
"hello"
2 comments:
Hah!
This is an excellent example of your strengths, Ms. Snow - you build a lovely rhythm that mirrors the life of the relationship you're representing. In this one case, I'm giving you a break from "show, don't tell" - you tell this story well enough that I'm sold.
Yes! Finally! Ha ha thanks Mr. Low. But this poem was actually really personal and it kind of makes more sense if you knew exactly what happened. But on the other hand I'm glad that I could work it enough for you to have an understanding of it, even though you don't.
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