Midnight Prayers

If I should die before I wake
I pray then Lord to take it away
heartbreak from loving
lying, the past, my destruction
and the wake in it's path

Our father who art in heaven
please hear my call
As I lay down to sleep
please wake me in the morning
so I can wake up inside

Don't strike me for not believing
Don't smite me for what I said
Forsake me not for now I see
Where you've been inside of me
Under the rubble, broken pieces, and ash
Somehow you survived the crash

And even when I prayed so long and hard
all through the night
you still didn't show
or say "I'm here"
so do not forsake me
just grant me this one wish
that when I lay me down to sleep
and pray for my soul to keep
that if I die before I wake
please
if even for a minute
take it away

Fall

New begginning
as my happy dwindles down
everything changes
even the leaves on the tree
they grow and bloom
in a wonderful floresence
will I be as beautiful
or will I crumble and fall as all of them
eventually do

Summer

Free flying high
like the beautiful birds in the sky
without a care in the world
because it lays in my hand
like a shining pearl
from much work by the clam
I'm never going back
it might be HOT
but I'm cool
no more sitting or waiting
I can be who I want
no debating
just do because I can
who knew life could be so rich
this is awesome I have bliss
love is at the height
so I'll kiss you with all my might
who knows how long it'll last
be happy with what I've got
this is summer not my past

Spring

Sunny skies spring to life as the sun saunters along
awakening dormant to-do's
semi-solid soil supports sunflowers
lilacs, lilies and love
love that floats in the air
like little bubbles lifting spirits
warm rain falls in fat drops
but in this season I do not mind
because in this season I don't mind much
I'm happy having nothing
just waiting with anticipating buzz

Winter

Dying time
cold air creeping through uncomfortable coats
wind whipping wildly wheezing wearily at closed windows
rosy fingertips wilt numb and blue
slush controls the ground
as ice falls from the sky
bleak, frozen tundra
stretches as far as the eye can see
hearts hungry for heat
because the cold continues to seep
it dominates everything
as we walk home with dead pan faces
which we cannot feel
all we do is lift heavy feet
trying to get to save heavens
where heaves of heavenly food awaits

Renga verses

* ok you're probably thinking: wtf what's a renga? >.< well calm down and I'll tell you ^_^" ok now: renga is a collabrative japanese poem and i'm not going to go into details but my class is writing one and the lines all have to have a specific number of syllables and it has to be about a season. kk? ^ _^ *

winter:

fresh little white flakes
dotting the black velvet sky
just like bright diamonds

spring:

new found sun appears
teardrops and fat rain mixes
beautiful rainbow

sun:

a bright sun burning
all my fears and worries
I am free to love

fall:

cool breeze blows away
my past and previous faults
new beginning waits

Corny

you had me at
"hello"
such a corny line
i refuse
there's no excuse
to say such a thing to me
though insignificant
through coincidence
i would find
it happened in real life
i must impend
there is no end
to my curiousity
of why you would use such a line on me
could it be that
you're true and blue
and you mean the corny things you say
could it be that
i feel it too
though i'm scared to trust if i'll be ok
i don't know what's in store
or what this world will hold
but truth be told
i see our futures unfold
the moment you said
"hello"

Undecided

mixed emotions
stop
the moment i see your face
confused thoughts
dissolve
whenever you're on my mind
you give me what i've needed
clarity
i look so confident
in my decision
in my deception
i gave it all up for you
but does that mean
i can't want it back
it's just my luck
it's always been my luck
you find good in my broken
i find you like a moth to light
clinging to what will kill me
we're a sad kind of happy
but it seems i can't stay away
even though with him
i feel the same way

Leaving

Swirling black clouds
Above my grey world
Suck my strength
Fear of damnation
rejection
resentment
tired of living regret
lost in lonliness
did I send a beacon
why did you come
what did you think this would be
look at me
no one buys the busted tv
in the far, dusty corner
of the junk store
used and broken
nothing but a token
how long did you think this would last
it's fun when we're free
where we don't have to be
it's not so cool
when I'm begging you please
wish we had happy love
the kind in the books
for kids like we used to be
what am i supposed to do
with out you
what should i do with this love
this love i can't push away
love that is not certain
it all depends
when love isn't love
is this how it ends

free write

My belt was too tight. I had to put my belt on too tight because we were finally going to the fair. I was visiting my YaYa and my brother in Chicago for the summer. All of my begging had paid off and I would finally get to ride the Viking. It was this little rollercoaster in the shape of a boat that moved back and forth until it went all the way upside down! Just thinking about it I still feel the challenge from it. I would be a big kid if I could ride it. I could do anything if I could ride it. My brother and I couldn't stop babbling in the back seat for the whole way there. "What are you gonna do?" "I'm getting on the Viking! Finally!" "Yeah ok that's nice but they have this dinosaur arcade game I'm dying to get to! All my friends said it's the best thing there, beside the cotton candy." "None of your friends have been on the Viking, because all of your friends are wimpy six year olds." "Hey I heard that! Mom!" "What? I didn't even say anything! YaYa he's lying!" "Both of you shut up." Well maybe we talked almost the whole way there."

The fair was the most glorious thing I had ever been to, even though it smelled like old feet. "Eww it smells!" I took a deep breath. The lights on the arcade were dim and flickering, the sound on all of the games was basically feedback and as my brother reported back they were rip offs. Although, I wasn't convinced, I just think he was bad at all of them. But, I only stayed with him until YaYa got back from the bathroom, as soon as she said okay I was gone. The line was immensely long! I couldn't keep still so I kept jumping to see how long I had to wait, the guy ahead of me was about eight feet tall. The lady behind me was not thrilled. "Miss could you stop it?" "I could, but will I? that's the question." She rolled her eyes and my thought was so strong that I almost said it aloud. What was a stiff like her getting on the biggest, coolest, most awesome ride here? I was fourth in line and the ride-worker yelled "I can take two more!" The people in front of me were all together. My hand flew up faster than a smart kid in class with the answer. "That's me! That's me!" I had to jump for the guy to see me. "And me." The lady behind me said in a dim tone. No wonder she was by herself. I climbed into the seat and fastened the loose straps. Ms. Stiffness behind me was now face to face with me because that's how the seats were. "Why are the straps so tight on you? Are you too fat or something?" Respectful little kid wasn't I? "No, it's because I'm an adult and that's who this ride was designed for, not a pesky little kid like you. And f.y.i. they're supposed to be tight so you don't fall out, like a seat belt, or do you ride in a car seat still?" The ride sprang to life before I could show her just how much of a car seat I needed.

My excitement sprang with the ride, though it wasn't as loud, and a huge smile broke through my lips despite Ms. Stiffness. it surged forward, then back and I couldn't help but laugh out loud! It was even more awesome than I thought, I kept getting that weightless feeling that came with my stomach flipping. I was glad I didn't have one the hot dogs. Near the end it went upside down. That was supposed to be the best part but I wasn't big enough for the ride, just like Ms. Stiffness said. So my small frame started to slide out of the belt. I SCREAMED to the top of my lungs. Ms. stiffness had to comment, "It's not that scary." I don't know how she managed it but she sounded condescending even in mid-air. I thought about never seeing mom again. I thought about her face as YaYa told her what happened, that there was nothing anybody could do. But I could. I could do something before my mom had to get that call. I screamed again. "Stop the ride!" Nothing. My legs were tangled in the belt as we hung upside down, this was the funnest part, they were the only thing keeping me from falling. But of course I couldn't keep still. I kicked and thrashed as a fish out of water. I can't tell you what I saw because I closed my eyes. I was surrounded in total darkness for eight days.

A sort of distant, annoying buzz filled my ears. I could see brightness behind my closed eyes. I wasn't fully awake but alert enough to feel my surroundings. It was very cold. I couldn't speak or really open my eyes, there was a heavy vail on me. It made everything fuzzy and it was hard to lift, and I almost didn't want to. This was peaceful, well not the brightness and buzzing, but the deep sleep I had been in before. For a while I didn't want to wake up. But then I heard my mom's voice. "Baby girl I just want you to know that I love you. You're the most important thing in my life. You're my world, so I need you to wake up okay. I know it's hard but just be strong. I know you ca-" Her voice was cut off with choking sobs. I couldn't put the pieces together. The vail was in the way. I couldn't think strait but I knew that she had to know I love her too. Speaking was hard. My throat hurt. It was dry. I opened my heavy eyelids. Her face was tear-stained and she looked tired. The big, bright lights behind her were making the buzzing sound. And I could hear a faint beeping. Speaking was hard, like trying to drag through wet sand. "I love you too." I finally said. Her head jerked up. "Snow, Snow are you awake?" I nodded.

Birds and Bees

Why do we talk about
birds and bees
when they are complete opposites
a bird can sit in a nest
only to worry about
twigs and berries
a bird can sit in a nest
just to sit there and look pretty
and sing a beautiful song
how can that be a
relationship
when a bee flies busily
buzzing ugily
with a million things to do
a bee flies busily
it can't worry about how it looks
because there is work to be done
how can they
fit
when a bird is big
a bird is seen
and it
crushes
the lowly bee